RE: YOUR ZOMBIE ASS!
Music: "If I Only Had A Brain" by Harold Arlen (orig. lyrics by E. Y. Harburg) from the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer motion picture The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Parody Lyrics: Matt G. Leger
Inspired by the song "Re: Your Brains," music/lyrics by Jonathan Coulton
We know you're in there, Thomas;
You've tried to gun and bomb us
And left some messy stains.
What's the sense in all this mayhem?
Things would be so nice this A.M.
If you'd let us eat your brains!
I'm dead if you all fight me
And worse yet if you bite me,
So my door stays in chains!
Really, there's no open question—
My head's not for your digestion;
I won't let you eat my brains!
I got your e-mail, Bob;
You used to be quite decent at your job,
But since you went and joined the undead mob
You're just a mean and hungry slob!
I've snacks enough for months here
So all your groans and grunts here
Are causing me no pains;
No amount of your persuasion
Will convince me your invasion
Is at all good for my brains!
Keep clawing at the glass;
I appreciate you tried to show some class,
But my survival dictates you not pass
So all of you can kiss my ass!
Don't bother using reason;
It isn't open season
To feast on my remains.
If you get in past the lock-off
My shotgun will blow your block off—
So just try and eat my brains!
(Spoken) Work with THIS, Bob!
(sound of shotgun bolt sliding and gun firing)